This morning I awoke at 4:45 am to watch the Women's National Team take on North Korea. It was a tough match and they tied, not what I was hoping for to start the morning. I took some time acknowledging the day and what it meant for so many in our nation today. And was a bit perplexed what this day might bring me. There were many random happenings that sent my day to very sad and then very happy and back to sad.
By the time my work day was over I was WIPED but I knew it was time to get myself into shape and head to American U for The Gathering. (The college ministry I work with) Spiritually I have had a very difficult last few weeks. With many struggles and past junk coming back at me. I was wondering how our night would go. On my way to campus I received a text message from a former camper I had led while I was in college. She is the first student I had become extremely close with who walked away from the Lord. Its heart breaking for me to know she does not believe in Him anymore but I am glad that God has kept us connected. Just before we were getting started for the night one of the students informed me that another student I have had the privilege of leading, that now has also stepped away from the faith would be showing up to say hi. It was a great reunion as I am always so happy to see her face but at the same time sadden as she walks away from the Lord. I met this person when the Gathering first started on campus with just three students. (I got to see two of them tonight) And as we were standing out side of Kay I told her to look around at what she helped create for all these new students. It was kinda a cool and very sad moment.
John spoke about making sure we carve out time to do exactly what God has created us to do that we are passionate about. And as many of life's big decisions are weighing over me again and I feel overwhelmed with responsibility, it was amazing to stand in the midst of this ministry I have had the honor to serve with for the last almost three years. God could do all this without any of us but He gives us the privilege to be a part of it. As 83 students (27 being guys) stood in worship to the Lord, I could not help but cry in awe of God. This weekend I looked at my situation with earthly eyes, and only saw my current hardships. And even asked the Lord if He was sure He really wanted me leading these students and volunteers. Tonight God said nope, I want to lead them but I want to do so through you. I have brought you through these last three years and look how I have blessed and molded this ministry. Its not about me and my struggles, its all about the Lord. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of that. I love these students and I am SO blessed an honored to serve them, and get to love on them. Watching them praise the Lord tonight and looking at so many faces I have seen mature into strong Christian leaders from just a few short years ago. Its amazing. God can take whatever you give him and multiply it despite us and our failures. In the Spring of 2005 3 students and a handful of volunteers got started at AU and now in the Fall of 2007 83 students, and 11 volunteers met together tonight to worship God because of their vision. Its pretty awesome!
Here are the Lyrics to Evermore (the Worship song that made me stop tonight)
Lost for words with all to say
Lord you take my breath away
Still my soul, my soul cries out For you are holy
And as I look upon your name
Circumstances fade away
Now your glory steals my heart
You are holy You are holy Lord
Evermore my heart, my heart will say
Above all, I live for your glory
Even if my world falls I will say
Above all, I live for your glory
With all my heart I'll say I'm living for your name
With all to give you praise
We're living for your glory Lord